He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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