I must be too annoying 4 u.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
