While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
