I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
