I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
