I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
