How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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