don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
