You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
