thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
