Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
