was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
