She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
