She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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