Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
