how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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