I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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