I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
