after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
