Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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