Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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