His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
