i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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