I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
