I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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