oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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