You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
