I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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