Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's always time for handjobs
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're a waste of cheezeits
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
