and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
