i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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