woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
