I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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