Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
