Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
