I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
