why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
