return my video game
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
