her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
