what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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