Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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