As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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