My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
