your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
