i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
