On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
