Sry I called you an 8
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize