i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
