He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
where am i from again
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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