Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
