I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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