is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
