Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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