Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
