My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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