Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
