i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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