i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
