she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
