My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
