Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
