Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
