so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
