After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
