its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
