..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize