Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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