HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize