i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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