You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
