I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
