SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
